Epipod Six: Reptile Collector

 

My aim in this world is to make that brown snake, that crocodile, that koala, that red-backed spider, that black widow, look good. That's my job. 
– Steve Irwin

 I make television because I want to change the way people think. 
– Mark Strickson

Me:  We’ve had comments about our lack of show notes. 

Him:  Okay. 

Me:  Do you know what show notes are? 

Him:  It’s not really my area. 

Me:  Fair enough.  Just to give you the heads-up that there’ll be show notes on this epipod. 

Him:  Alright. 

Me:  At this stage you still don’t know what we’re doing. 

Him:  No. 

Me:  Is that exciting? 

Him:  No. 

Me:  Even knowing there’ll be a Paul McGann variant cover? 

Him:  Ooo.  Everything should have a Paul McGann variant cover.  I expect you to do one for every drawing from this point on as well. 

Me:  Ha!  Don’t hold your breath. 

Him:  Why not? 

Me:  Because you’ll pass out. 

Him:  Oh.  That makes sense. 

Me:  Any idea what we’re going to be talking about? 

Him:  I still don’t, no.  But they do.  They know more than me. 

Me:  Both of ‘em? 

Him:  Yup.  All both of them. 

Me:  Excellent.  Brace for adventure, Lady and Gentleman.  Let’s journey into mystery!

The Him makes a noise not dissimilar to a deflating armadillo.

NO COMPLICATIONS ODDCAST SIX: 
REPTILE COLLECTOR

SHOW NOTES

The Five(ish) Doctors Reboot

What’s the use of a good quote if you can’t change it?

- Colin Baker

Me:  Wow.  Just…  Wow.

Him:  I don’t know what to say.

Me:  That was superb.  What a treat.

Him:  Yeah.

Me:  I’m feeling worryingly upbeat at the moment. 

Him:  Right.  Any particular reason?

Me:  Just that…  I think we’ve been very lucky this weekend.  I can remember watching Dimensions in Time when it went out.

Him:  Did you think it was good as Dimensions in Time?

Me:  What, The Five-Ish Doctors?

Him:  Yeah.

Me:  I thought it was quite a bit better than Dimensions in Time.

Him:  Ha!

Me:  In fact…  Yeah.  Beautifully done.  What a treat.

Him:  Yup.

Me:  “Wik lint usal, Mr Davison.”

Him:  That’s not it.

Me:  No?

Him:  No.  It’s “usl”.  I’ll get the book.  Y’know, the book that you’re in.1

Me:  Um…

The Him hops off to the bookshelf.

Him:  It’s in Volume Two, yeah?

Me:  It…  Is.

Pause.

Book:  flkflikkyflkflky-flk

Him:  “Dish of the Day.”  Got it.  “w-i-k-Capital I-n-t –u-s-u-l”.  The final l’s a capital.

Me:  Shall I just put a photo in?

Him:  If you like.

1.  I’ve got essays in both volumes of You and Who: Contact Has Been Made, but was luckily enough to write the Peter Davison tribute in Volume 2.  Still available from Miwk Publishing, chums…

"Dear Mister Christmas..."

#Whoniversary - The Night of the Doctor

 

There are only three principles of warfare: audacity, audacity and AUDACITY. 

- General George S. Patton 

or 

Kill one man and you are a murderer.  Kill millions and you are a conqueror.  Kill all and you are a God. 
- Jean Rostand

Me:  Well, what did you think of that then? 

Him:  What? 

Me:  The prelude prologue for The Day of the Doctor. 

Him:  Oh.  It was… unexpected. 

Me:  Pleased to see McGann get a last hurrah? 

Him:  Probably. 

Me:  Did you recognise any of the companions he named? 

Him:  No.  They’re all Big Finish. 

Me:  Aha!  They are.  Which leads me to a quick footnote. 

Pause. 

Him:  Am I the link to the footnote?1 

Me:  Yup.  

Him:  Alright then. 

Me:  Mostly because I wanted your thoughts rather than mine. 

Him:  Right.  What are your thoughts? 

Me:  Unexpected.1

1.  Moffat played a blinder here.

Fandom gasped with delight at their surprise gift – it’s the Sisterhood!  Not to mention the nods towards Big Finish and the birthday present to Paul McGann.  Lovely.  And cunning.

None of it matters.  It doesn’t count.

What we actually got was a piece of Occam’s Razor mixed up in fanfic.  This isn’t anything other than yet another piece of promotional VAM, thrown out to make the fans, keepers of the sacred flame one and all, purr and dance.  It’s a present, yeah, but let’s look at its teeth for a moment.

Seeing as this isn’t part of the actual story as far a real world audience is concerned we’re presented with a video ‘Scene That Must Have Occurred’ similar to those found on the Photoplasty sections of Cracked, or the web-series that complimented the Battlestar Galactica reboots.

You see, what really happened there – under all the icing – was Moffat making a hell of a lot of the Big Finish catalogue2 part of his back-story.  He took ownership of it.  And why not? If you’re tying up loose ends, why not take the credit for doing so?

It was nice seeing Clare Higgins again – I’d watched Hellraiser and Brain of Morbius fairly recently, totally by accident.  Not so sure about Cass.3  Coming back to Clare Higgins for a moment – has there been a shift in acting styles when I’ve not been looking?  Or are actors being directed to play the lines as written?  Moffat’s dialogue is at its best when underplayed.  McGann fielded some clunkers beautifully. 

2.  Not the TV Movie though.  Or the classical Modern Prometheus… 

3.  I’ve read one comment that suggests that the Seven-and-a-Halfth Doctor was killed proving a racist wrong.