There will presently be no room in the world for things; it will be filled up with the advertisements of things.
- William Dean Howells
Me: So, we travelled down to see the Doctor Who Experience. In Cardiff. You want to say anything about that?
Him: We went down to Cardiff.
Me: On the train.
Me: I really meant, ‘Do you want to say anything about Cardiff?’
Him: It was sunny.
Me: So, that’s a ‘no’ then?
Him: I can’t think of anything to say.
Me: Making this preamble a bit weird. Anything to say about the ‘window seat’?
Him: It was a funny seat.
Me: And Google maps doesn’t seem to think that Cardiff exists.
Him: No; it doesn’t.
Me: Right, you can take up the story from when we arrived ‘Down the Bay’.
Him: They had terrible parking.
Me: In that there isn’t any. Were you excited?
Me: About what?
Him: The that.
Me: The Doctor Who Experience building was constructed specially.
Him: I know. You told me already.
Me: I was quite pleased to see Bessie as we walked in.
Him: The Lego Dalek was quite cool – even though it had specially made Lego pieces. You wouldn’t be able to make that Dalek without them.
Me: No matter how many bits of red Lego were lying around.
Him: I’m talking about the ‘eggs’.
Me: Right. We bought the tickets and the programme and then cooed over the display cases.
Him: ‘Cooed’? This isn’t the Eighties.
Me: Push. Struggle. So what’s in the lobby bit?
Him: Display cases and the Eternal.
Me: And a café.
Him: And the entrance to the walk.
Me: I thought the Eternal looked alright in the…
Me: Well, not really.
Me: Ha! Yeah.
Him: It was bigger than I thought it would be, because Matt Smith makes them look quite small.
Me: Yeah – no wonder he keeps getting compared to a giraffe. They must have to fold him when he visits the Experience.
Me: What’s in the display cases? Bearing in mind that they might change them around quite a lot, what with having the studio just over the road.
The Following Contains More Spoilers than a Canadian TV Spot/Radio Times Hybrid
Me: I got a bit excited in the queue, I have to admit.
Him: And we were second in line.
Me: Which didn’t make a difference in the long run.
Him: No, it didn’t.
Me: We’ll have to do it again, because there were bits where I know you couldn’t see what was going on.
Him: Yeah, I could.
Me: You just keep thinking that. So, what happened after we went through the doors?
Him: We were greeted by Alpha Node…
Me: Something. So we’re not going to say about the first part?
Him: What first part?
Me: Nice. Did you spot the sign from Curse of Fenric?
Me: How about the the prop from Resurrection of the Daleks?
Me: I’ll keep doing that, then.
Him: Doing what?
Me: Pointing out bits you missed.
Me: Ah. What happened here?
Him: I flew the TARDIS. And made it crash.
Me: I was so embarrassed.
Me: Now, I know there was a lot of this stage that went over your head. And also went on in front of the… forest of adults you were stuck in.
Him: I could only see one Dalek. And I could hear Matt Smith.
Me: Did you see yourself on the Dalek scanner?
Me: And did you spot the space battle?
Him: No? I heard it.
Me: We were on the bridge of a spaceship, looking out over the battle taking place outside. Through the viewing port. That you were too small to see.
Me: Never mind, nobody got to see the next bit.
FOREST OF ANGELS
Me: I bet you didn’t even notice this section was happening until we were out the other side.
Him: We went through rather quickly.
Me: I wonder if-
Him: Don’tblinkdon’tblinkhurryhurrywe’reout. That’s pretty much what it was.
Me: -they were running late.
Me: We’ll stand nearer the middle next time. That’s all I’m saying.
Him: It was epic! The hand went through your face!
Me: And if we’d been in the middle, I’d have noticed it happening.
Me: And then…?
Him: What was next?
Me: Right. The Doctors.
Him: They have the costumes.
Him: Most of them.
Me: I was quite star-struck by getting the chance to frootle.
Me: Okay, it was the only way I could get the reference in. It was great to actually get to see what William Hartnell and Patrick Troughton were wearing. There was more detail than I expected.
Him: There was. But the pictures you took don’t show it off.
Me: I guess this is an extended advert for the Doctor Who Experience. “If you’re a giraffe that can’t drive – you’ll love it more than if you aren’t and can.” There you go, they can put that on the posters.
|Me: And of course we got to see Matt Smith’s palm and face prints which he left in the concrete just a couple of days before.|
Him: I still see Matt Smith as ‘the new Doctor’.
Me: I know, I get that too. He’s the new boy. Are we going to mention the Melkur?
Me: And I guess that goes the same for the sonics and the TARDIS keys?
Me: Shame. Shall we mention the console room that I failed to get a photo of when I went to Longleat?
Me: Anything you want to say about the companion costumes? I’m not putting any pictures of them up.
Him: What about K9?
Me: We’ve got to keep something back.
Him: We’ve kept everything back!
Me: Wait until we get to the pen...
Me: The Monster Zone was pretty good.
Me: I took shots of everything, but I’m not putting most of them up.
A LITTLE SHOP
Him: Are you going to mention the penny?
Me: I thought you might like to. Seeing as you made such a fuss about it.
Him: *cough cough cough*
Him: They don’t carry change.
Me: That’s true. True.1
Him: They didn’t have any Target books.
Me: I thought that was an oversight too. Plenty of toys and a lot of gim-
Him: And posters!
Me: And posters. No books though.
Him: They did have books. Just not Target books.
Me: I didn’t see any books.
Him: New ones.
Me: You sure?
Me: Right, I apologise then.
Him: In the rain. Waiting for the Other.
Me: Ha! Would you want to go again?
Him: When they have some new stuff in.
Me: Fair enough. I loved it, got to be honest.
|Longleat '83 - Ash's roadster refuses to revolve.|
1. That’s the most obscure Cardiff reference imaginable. Unless you click this in a confident enough fashion.
2. If you get this, let us know. There'll be a prize.
2. If you get this, let us know. There'll be a prize.