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They’re starting to open up the sky/They’re starting to reach down through
- Trent Reznor, Zero Sum (2007)
Or (if you want to be all obvious about it)
A two-dimensional being inside a square would be exactly in the same
predicament that a man would be, if he were in a room with no opening on any
side. Now it would be possible to us to take up such a being from the inside of
the square, and to set him down outside it. A being to whom this had happened
would find himself outside the place he had been confined in, and he would not
have passed through any of the boundaries by which he was shut in. The
astonishment of such a being can only be imagined by comparing it to that which
a man would feel, if he were suddenly to find himself outside a room in which
he had been, without having passed through the window, doors, chimney or any
opening in the walls, ceiling or floor.
- Charles Howard Hinton, What is the Fourth Dimension?
(1884)
Me: Well, that was
Flatline.
(Long pause.)1
Um…
Him: Errr…
(Another, even longer pause.)
Me: I dunno… I’m a bit… I’m a bit blown away and a bit… A little bit…
Him: What’re you ‘a
little bit’?
Me: It’s weird. Did you think it was good?
Him: I think it was
one of the strangest things I’ve ever seen.
Me: Ha! It was very imaginative.
Him: It is isn’t
it? It’s really creative and it’s really
out there.
Me: Yeah, the ideas
are great. Y’know, the whole thing about
2D and 3D and different dimensions ties in with the idea of four dimensions and
higher dimensional beings. There was a
chap called Charles Hinton who wrote about time being the fourth dimension.2 Creatures that could live in four, or more
dimensions, the way that they’d see a three-dimensional world would be similar
to the way we see a two-dimensional one.
So, if they were looking down on something like a house, it would appear
to be totally flat and they’d be able to-
Him: I have seen
Flatland.3
Me: Yeah. In a two-dimensional world – within a square
– a two-dimensional creature wouldn’t be able to leave it, in much the same way
that, in a three-dimensional world we can’t leave a room without a door or a
window or some sort of gap. When you go
into things like magick, apparently – the idea is something along the lines of
being able to see, or experience these separate dimensions… There was a demon that was supposed to be
able to grant people the power of flight and to be able to allow his passengers
to see into houses from above – I think it was Asmodeus.4
Him: I have seen
Flatland.3
Me: 'Flatline'?
Him: Flatland.
Me: 'Flatland'?
Him: Yes.
Me: What’s that?
Him: I thought it was
weird that you were agreeing with the fact that I’d seen it, seeing as I didn’t
think you’d have ever heard of it.
Me: Go on.
Him: It’s a film
about a square that works for a circle and he’s got a hexagon as a
granddaughter. Everyone thinks he’s
crazy because he believes in this third dimension and then a giant sphere
transports him to the land inbetween dimensions where he sees the zeroth
dimension and the first dimension. Then
he gets taken to see the third dimension.
Me: That’s really
interesting.
Him: You should look
it up.
Me: I will look it up.
Him: It’s only about
forty minutes long.
Me: Well, if I can
find it then there’ll be a clue to where it is at the end of this
sentence.3
(Pause.)
The idea – getting back to Asmodeus – was almost a form of astral
projection. This demon or creature or
Ghost of Christmas Yet to Come or whatever, could be argued to be something
that lives in higher planes-
Him: Demons would be
able to see in seven planes.
Me: Well, this is
just it.
Him: If you’ve got
different planes of vision that aren’t just 2D and 3D you’d have separate ones
for 3D that demons’d be able to hide in.
Ghosts are supposed to be able to hide in a different plane of the third
dimension and that’s why cats can see them, ‘cause cats can see in five
different planes as opposed to just the three planes.
Me: Oh, right. What’s that from?
Him: I fail to
recall.
Me: Ha! Once again, there were a couple of moments
when Murray Gold clonked it around, but he was-
Him: Only really the
start. That was the only time you were
shouting at him to shut up.
Me: I really don’t think he can hear me. That was the second one written by Jamie
Mathieson who wrote last week’s as well.
Him: He does like his
trains.
Me: He does. There were a lot of… Listening seems to be important. And, we still don’t totally know what was
going on with the TARDIS. It’s not
impossible that Perkins sabotaged it, so I might still be right.5
Him: We don’t know
how long Perkins was in there for.
Me: Well, no. But he was left there on his own and he was
messing around with it. Said, “Good luck,”
rather than “Goodbye,” and then the next thing you know- And that's very much like The Mind Robber6
as well as The Time Meddler. It’s almost
an echo of the predicament the Doctor left the Monk in. The exception being that the Monk was stuck
outside of his TARDIS.
Him: Yes.
Me: I don’t think
it’s that. Interesting seeing Missy at
the end. And she’s chosen Clara. I’ll have to rewatch that though, because I
thought it could still be read that Missy’s using Danny to get to Clara. Don’t forget Danny had a ‘thing’, in The Caretaker. The bit at the very start,
where the Bristle chap – ‘cause it was all set in Bristle-
Him: Is that why
you’ve written ‘Bristle’?
Me: That’s the
correct spelling of ‘Bristle’.
Him: It’s really all
sorts of not.
Me: At the start, when his face is in the wall? There’s a lot of paintings that use that perspective effect within them. And there’s a famous one that-
Him: Not as good as
my painting.
Me: And what’s your
painting?
Him: No, I can’t
reveal that because the authorities’ll come looking for it.
Me: Well, we probably
shouldn’t written a post about you acquiring it, then. So, the way the face was stretched, and could
only be seen at a certain angle. There’s
a Holbein painting called ‘Two Gentlemen’ or something…7 I put a link up to it fairly recently… I should say, we do these ‘reviews’
immediately after watching the time shifted episodes, so we haven’t been on the
internet and haven’t got a clue what people are saying. Holbein hid a skull in this picture, but it’s
so stretched that it looks like a weird smear of paint across the bottom of the
canvas unless you’re standing in the right position.8 Clara’s protestations to the Doctor – and
that whole situation’s going the way I expected it to – she sounded just like
Nedry in Jurassic Park when he’s heading off to steal the embryos and putting
on this totally unconvincing… It was
almost the same type of, “Ha! Yes! Everything’s… fine! Nothing to worry about!” A sort of nervous rambling. Douglas Mackinnon directing again, doing a
lovely job. The Boneless themselves, I
thought they were really good.9 You know
the bit in the train tunnel?
Him: Yeah.
Me: You said it was
like a zombie flick.
Him: I said
‘film’. I certainly did not say ‘zombie
flick’.
Me: Something I’m
going to have to say, because this was a little bit weird, just a couple of
days ago I was chatting to someone about Charles Addams – oddly enough, Banksy cropped up too, everything’s connected.
Charles Addams created The Addams Family, of course, including Thing,
the disembodied hand which crawls around everywhere. It also crops up in-
Him: The Walking
Dead?
Me: No, it’s Evil Dead 2. “Who’s laughing now?” But, you won’t know about that.
Him: No, no I
won’t. Which is why I got the reference
wrong to begin with.
Me: The bit where the
Doctor’s got his hand outside of the TARDIS, dragging it – that was so
good. Some of the shots were marvelously
imaginative, the ideas were really clever and the visual sense was exquisite. When the door handles became two dimensions
so you couldn’t open them? I thought
that was great. Bit Black Orchid at the
end? I’m sure that train station’s in
Barry. I think it might be where they
filmed The Doctor Dances – the final, “Just this once, everybody lives.” Remember that? I think it was filmed in the same place. I haven’t looked it up, but the Mystery Voice
would know.10
Him: You’ve drawn a
cube.
Me: That’s the TARDIS
in-
Him: Siege mode?
Me: Yeah. I should probably say that half of us have a column in the current issue of Starburst.
Well, I’ve got to, haven’t I?
It’s taken four hundred and three issues to get there-
 |
| Lady and gentleman, I give you, time travel! |
Him: You need to stop
advertising my article.
Me: Ha! Now, last week looked like the diet-companion
episode because Clara spent a lot of it locked away. This week, because the Doctor’s locked away,
it’s-
Him: Probably why he
wrote them both that way.
Me: Yeah. This series feels to me like a continuous story-
Him: What, with all
the trains?
Me: No not with all
the trains.
Him: Maybe it’s
linking up and there’ll be a big train at the end. The Doctor’s child wanders onto the railway
line and he jumps down to save him and then he gets hit by a train and then
he’s transported to heaven and then he sees his dead wife and then he’s finally
able to have the child meet his mother.
Me: And that’s a
really happy ending. And nobody
screams. I thought the grabbing hand in
the tunnel was great. It looks like the
cover of Year Zero by Nine Inch Nails, and the idea’s very similar as well.
Him: It reminded me
of the Wallmasters from The Ocarina of Time.
You see the shadow. The shadow
grows. Then the shadow flats down. Very similar to that.
Me: Was it the chap
who was number twenty-two?
Him: Number twenty-two, yeah.
Me: When he became 2D… You know in-
Him: The thing is, he
checks his jacket.
Me: It’s after that they get him. In Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade, the bridge is the same kind of idea. Old films used matte and glass paintings to create a similar effect.
Him: Glass paintings
are rubbish. As people discovered, if
you dip a paintbrush into glass nothing actually happens. That’s why glass painting tend to just be
white sheets of paper.
Me: Anything else you
want to say about anything? I should say
it was nice to see Christopher Fairbank again.
Him: It was
interesting collection of characters.
Me: It was. Fenton was very unsympathetic. Foreshadowing maybe? Sometimes the ‘wrong’ ones make it.
Him: Goodness knows,
maybe he’s the Meddling Monk again?6
Me: Would you like to
expand on that theory?
Him: No. But I’m surprised you didn’t come up with
it. As I was watching it, I thought,
“That’s the first theory he’s going to come up with.”
Me: Because he got
through the psychic paper? With Fenton it’s a lack of
imagination. With the rock and roll
Billy Shakespeare it’s too much imagination and a big old beard.
Him: And what about the
scientist guy?
Me: Which one?
Him: Are you not
remembering this? Right at the end of
Army of Ghosts. I think. Or at the start of Doomsday.
Me: That’s because
he’s been trained. Yeah, yeah, yeah –
part of Torchwood.
Him: I don’t know.
Me: I think you’re
right. Do you want to make two
dimensional noises now?
Him: cqlrqkql
cqlrqkql
Me: And on that
bombshell!
(Pause.)
How am I going to spell that?
Him: Ha!
1. Still like a
sea-badger.
2. Both of you probably remember that I once
wrote a four-dimensional history of Doctor Who for the Celestial Toyroom, the Doctor Who Appreciation Society magazine. I’ll see if I can dig it out for you.
3. Flatland, eh? Edwin A. Abbot’s original was written in 1884, the same year that Hinton's essay came out. Must've been something in the air. There've been several adaptations of Flatland, but the Him's talking about the movie rather than the film. Glad to clear that up.
4. It was/wasn’t/is/will be. Apparently, Asmodeus is keen on the Fibonacci
sequence, which us brings back to the golden ratio, where we didn’t start.
5. As the Doctor
says, “I’m from the race that built the TARDIS.
Dimensions are kind of our thing.”
So, if Perkins is the Monk… He
also seemed to be carrying around the same iPad as Missy – you both spotted
that, yeah? The Him certainly did. Personally, I’m drifting back
to my World of Fiction ‘theory’.
But, if you want to say ‘miniscope’ based on the big hand that dragged
the fellow into the light, don’t let me stop you. After all, we’re all imaginary zeros and ones
in here.6
6. blah blah it’s the
Master blah
7. It’s not ‘Two
Gentlemen’. I first read about it in the
Fortean Times issue 202, and here’s a piece on it in The Guardian.8
8. And here’s the anamorphic skull as it appears when you hit your mark. Interesting to see it represents another
instance of the three-fold dimensions of heaven, earth and, well, let’s just call it the ‘nethersphere’, shall we?
9. Yeah, I had to
look up ‘Boneless’ – didn’t catch it first time round.
