Monday 28 September 2015

The Witch's Familiar (time shift)

Beware of the people you've been kind to.
- Alan Marshall

Or, if you want to be all obvious about it:

Victory goes to the player who makes the next-to-last mistake.
- Savielly Tartakower

Him:  Why do they have these names?

Me:  Well, The Witch's Familiar was Clara and The Magician's Apprentice was Davros by the looks of it.

Him:  But why do they have these names? 

Me:  Otherwise it'd be 'Genocide of the Daleks' and 'Prisoner of Davros' or something.

Him:  'Davros of the Daleks'.

Me:  'Davros of the Daleks', yes.  'Cyberman of the Daleks', still waiting for that one.

Him:  'Sewer of the Daleks'!

Me:  That reminded me a bit of The Curse of Fatal Death...  I've a suspicion that 'the Hybrid' - we've already seen... 

Him:  Okay.

Me:  'cause, when talking about two warlike races it wasn't very definitely 'Daleks'.  Might be explaining that the Doctor's the Hybrid between the two warlike races of the Time Lords and Humanity. 

Sea badger!

Him:  Okay...

Me:  Yeah?  It was nice to see that the Danger Mouse agenda is back in.1

Him:  Vampire monkeys.

Me:  Vampire monkeys.

Him:  The pit of vampire monkeys.

Me:  And then there was the point-ed stick...  They could always eat a Metaltron...  I thought that Missy and Clara made a good team. 

Him:  Really?

Me:  Yeah. 

Him:  Really?

Me:  Yeah.

Him:  Really?

Me:  Yeah.  Did you not?

Him:  I wouldn't have called it a 'good team'.

Me:  I'm rooting more for Missy, which can't be right.

Him:  Well, there's always another Clara.

Me:  Ha!  She's the Impossible Girl Who's Everywhere.  "SEEK!-LO-CATE!!-DE-STROY!!!"


Me:  Yeah, you spotted that one.  And why do they have another plastic chair on Skaro?2

Him:  Why do they have a plastic chair on Skaro?  Why do they have plastic on Skaro?  Why do they have a chair on Skaro?

Me:  I thought Julian Bleach's performance as Davros was excellent.  The story was very much hitting the same notes as Dalek, where you've got a sympathetic... 

Him:  "We need to talk."

Me:  Ha!  Yeah, it wasn't quite to The Walking Dead level of chatting about stuff, but it-

Him:  It was

Me:  There was an awful lot of just chatting about stuff, wasn't there?  It was fine.  Did what it did.  Good performances...

Bonus second appearance by the sea badger...

Me:  I have to admit, I do feel somewhat underwhelmed.

Him:  Only now?

Me:  Yeah.  With the two of them together, it was...  Hurm.  That's not the end of that story.  They were the first two parts of a multi-part Dalek story. 

Him:  We don't need more Daleks.  Do we really need more Daleks?

Me:  I think we need... an annual dose of Daleks just to make sure we keep getting Daleks. 

Him:  I could live without Daleks.

Me:  What would you have instead of the Daleks?

Him:  The Zarbi.

Me:  Ha!  Bring back Zombo!  The first of the Boy Genius companions.

Him:  I don't know what you could have instead of the Daleks.  Maybe, like, sporks would be a suitable replacement?

Me:  We've had Spoonheads...

Him:  Wait!  Why did all of the buildings collapse?

Me:  Because Dalek... buildings... do.

Him:  But why?

Me:  Because they do.  At the end of a story that's what they do.  Although, this isn't the end of a story, it's set another one up.  It's all going to be about Gallifrey and why the Doctor left and...

Him:  And why did the angry zombie Dalek... paste... things...  What?  Why did they only try and kill other Daleks? 

Me:  Because they were angry about not being Daleks any more?

Him:  Very specifically, other Kaleds, 'cause they won't go after you if you're anything else in a Dalek suit.

Me:  That's very true.  I dunno.

Him:  This name trend's not going to continue though?  The next one's not going to be called, 'The Shomaster's Spork' or something?

Me:  It'll be 'Something of the Daleks' next time.

Him:  There's not really much left as far as 'of the Daleks' is concerned. 

Me:  The whole of the 'r' section of the Oxford English Dictionary has definitely been done.

Him:  You just can't remember between 'Remembrance', 'Revelation' and 'Resurrection'.

Me:  Can you?

Him:  'Remembrance of the Daleks' is the Sylvester McCoy one.  'Revelation of the Daleks' is the Tom Baker one-

Me:  Oooo.  No.

Him:  How am I supposed to know?

Me:  'Destiny of the Daleks' you're thinking of.  None of the Tom Baker ones've got rrrrrrrrrrrrs.

Him:  Ha!

Me:  Anyway, on that bombshell-

Him:  That just shows how confusing it is!

Me:  -here comes a clam!

Him:  A clam?

Me:  Where?

Final part of the Sea Badger Trilogy!

Him:  What?

1.  No, not Doctor Augustus P Crumhorn III...

2.  The answer's here - you'll have to scroll down a bit...

3.  I'd usually put a 'review' around about here, but there's not much to be said, it was all there on the screen.  And, at the moment, it still feels like we're in the opening scenes.  If this series was, The Daleks' Master Plan (say), then Katarina'd still be around.  Clara's Doom's obviously delaying gratification for another couple of months.  I can wait.

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