Tuesday 10 September 2013

The Trailer of The Web of Fear

You never have to change anything you got up in the middle of the night to write.
- Saul Bellow


Me:  Wow!  What an ending.

Him:  It was quite good.

And then, this happens…

Patrick Troughton:  Warph!  Warph!1  Oh, thank goodness.  Oh, it’s you.  Hurm.  I thought for one moment it was…

Me:  What’s this?

Him:  Is this the next time trailer?

Me:  It is!

Patrick Troughton:  Goodness me, I must just sit down for a minute.

There’s some fresh warphing and the following speech sounds as though Patrick Troughton’s hiding in an echo chamber.

Patrick Troughton:  I’m glad I met you as a matter of fact.  There’s something I want to tell you.  When we – uh – When we start out on our next adventure – Jamie and Victoria and I – we meet some old friends.  Yes.  We also meet some old enemies.  Very old enemies.  The – uh – The Yeti, as a matter of fact.

Him:  Not that old.

Patrick Troughton:  Only – um – this time they’re – they’re just a little bit more frightening than last time.  Hmmm?  So, I want to warn you that if your mummy and daddy are scared, you just get them to hold your hand-

Terrifying Noise:  SHQRZZZZ

Him:  Ha!

Patrick Troughton:  Here we go again!  I’ve got to go!  See you soon…

Terrifying Noise:  SHQRZZZZ

Gunshots and an alarmed string section reverberate throughout the crowded echo chamber.  Suddenly, two Yeti appear, lumbering down a train tunnel.

Him:  Movement!
The Reverberating Voice of God:  ‘Dr2 Who and the Web of Fear’.2 Next Saturday at five twenty-five.3

Me:  That’s a hell of a trailer!

Next:  “Mind the gap!”

1.  Possibly not the actual dialogue.  It’s hard to tell.

2.  (sic) – Oh damn, I’ve done it again.  I must be punished.  It’s for my own good.

3.  Offer no longer valid.

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