Tuesday 23 June 2015

BBC America's Series Thirty-Five Teaser Trailer

Historians and archaeologists will discover that the advertisements of our time are the richest and most faithful reflections that any society ever made of its entire range of activities.
- Marshall McLuhan

Me:  Okay.  I'm going to spring something on you.  Now, you don't know what this is.

Him:  Do I want to know what it is?

Me:  Yeah.

Him:  Doubt it.

Me:  It's not what I was planning on springing on you - I'm going to spring that on you next week instead -

Him:  I don't want that either.

Me:  Yeah you do, 'cause you might like it.  I'll give you a hint.  I've bought my first-ever prop.1

The Him starts being surreptitious.

Me:  Are you looking around for it?

Him:  Maybe.

Me:  Well, the Hut's too small to hide anything like a prop in, surely?

Him:  Is it...  Matt Smith?

Me:  Matt Smith's not really a prop, is he?  No.  It's not Matt Smith.

Him:  Am I close?3

Me:  No.

Him:  Is it The Scream?4

Me:  No.

Him:  Is it this chair?

Me:  No.

Him:  Are you wearing it?

Me:  Ha!  No.

Him:  Is it that mask?

Me:  No.

Him:  So, what's with the mask?

Me:  Huh?  What mask?

Him:  That mask.

Me:  That's not a mask!  Right.  It's...  this.

Me:  You'll notice that BBC America have got the first trailer for the new series of Doctor Who.

Him:  And you bought that trailer?

Me:  No.

Him:  BBC America?

Me:  I didn't buy BBC America.  That's the first trailer for series thirty-five.

Him:  But is that the prop?

Me:  Ha!  No, the prop's got nothing to do with the trailer.  That was the first teaser trailer for the next series of Doctor Who...

Him:  That was rubbish.

Me:  What was rubbish about it? 

With a dexterous flap of its flippers, the Sea Badger gracefully falls through the open window, lands on the floor and drags itself into the kitchen to make a cup of tea.

Him:  It was rubbish!  What do you mean, "What was rubbish about it"?

Me:  It's just there to remind us that Doctor Who's coming back.

Him:  But why?  Why bother?

Me:  It keeps the public's interest up.  And then the public says, "Oh yes, Doctor Who's coming back."

Him:  (as a Pepperpot) "Oh yes."

Me:  (joining in)  "You used to like that when you were young.  You used to hide behind the sofa we didn't have.  Yes, you did"

The Him starts being subtle again. 

Me:  Are you looking for the sofa now?

Him:  Is it the sofa?

Me:  It's not the sofa.  Don't get...  It's not what you think.

Him:  Oh God.

Me:  What?

Him:  Is it a ring that one of the extras wore in The Masque of Mandragora?

Me:  No.

Him:  Is it something like that?

Me:  It is.  And on that bombshell...

1.  Before you both start getting excited, I'm afraid that you'll have to wait a bit longer than the Him to find out what the prop is.2  Don't worry, there'll be reminders.

2.  Of course, if you ask nicely then I might tell you.3

3.  Who knows?

4.  For the full story on why (and how) the Him acquired a copy of The Scream, click here.  Firmly.

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