Sunday 6 December 2015

Hell Bent (time shift)

When childhood dies, its corpses are called adults and they enter society, one of the politer names of hell.
- Brian Aldiss

Or, if you want to be all obvious about it:

About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
- Herbert Hoover


Me:  Well, it's because Clara had to descend into the Underworld with a god - as we predicted last year - who would then save her and bring her back.   

Him:  But, the names!

Me:  I know, I know.

Him:  The names!

Me:  The Doctor became the Man With No Name, because it was a Western, and we had stand-offs and back to the barn, and echoes of the Doctor/Donna, and four knocks and back to Listen and...

Him:  Well, that's because it was meant to be Steven Moffat's last one.

Me:  Yeah, that's what he said.  That was kind of his final statement, and then the Christmas special was going to be the epilogue.  Hell Bent wraps up the last ten years.  As much as anything.  Clara's now, basically, the Doctor.

Him:  It's even got a decent picture on iPlayer.

Me:  The shot of him walking away from Gallifrey, with the guitar?

Him:  In fact, Gallifrey very much represents a Gungan bubble, doesn't it?

Me:  The underwater one?

Him:  Yes. 

Me:  Ha!  'Space Glasgow' was alright, I suppose.  The 'get off my planet,' line, which is from Battlefield, was...  pretty good.  There's an echo of Rory the Roman with the waiting forever.  Steven Moffat does like...   And there was a quote from Terrance Dicks in there: 'Never cowardly, never cruel'.  That was paraphrasing Terrance Dicks.  Telling Clara she has to go off and be a Doctor.  Once again, that's Steven Moffat's final statement on the series.

Him:  We've still got the Christmas special.

Me:  Yeah, but it wraps everything up.  It's not the conclusion to this particular series, it's the conclusion to the last fifty-two years.

Him:  How do you think he'll reboot it?  Again.

Me:  Well...

Him:  For the third time in the last two years.

Me:  I think it'll depend on what the new companion's going to be. 

Him:  You don't think it'll be River?

Me:  No.  I've got... other sorts of ideas.  So, the Hybrid?

Sea badger!

Him:  Maybe it'll be the Hybrid.  Whoever the hell the Hybrid was.

Me:  It was the Doctor.  We got it right.

Him:  That was so vague. 

Me:  I've got to say something about the whistling Murraycone-

Him:  You had this weird back and forth, where the Doctor and Ashildr were both trying to convince each other that the other one was the Hybrid.

Me:  I think that was a bit of Steven Moffat having a go at the audience again. 

Him:  Yeah, that's what I said before.  "So that means it's him.  But wait, that's a double-bluff.  No, it's a triple-bluff because he never calls her that.  No, no, no. Wait.  But, it's Steven Moffat, so..."  Until you reach the point where you're, y'know...

Me:  And then it's really impressive, but you still don't get your watch back. 

Him:  Ha!

Me:  It's a good trick, but you don't get your watch back.  I think that we were also right that a lot of the talky scenes in the preceding eleven weeks were in order-

Him:  I don't remember any scenes being set in Torquay.

Me:  "Madam!  That is Torquay!"  Don't you remember the herds of wildebeest and the Hanging Gardens of Babylon?   It felt quite expensive.  So, the Time Lord who got lost in the Cloisters was the William Hartnell Doctor, I would've said.  Would you agree with that?

Him:  What was up with the Cloisters?

Me:  I don't know.

Him:  What was up with the terrible firewalls?

Me:  Well...

Him:  The Shufflers.

Me:  The Sliders.

Him:  Oh.  'The Sliders'.

Me:  Yeah, not 'the Smilers'.  It was done as a Western.  I thought that Peter Capaldi was excellent throughout that.

  Yeah, but has there been any point where you can fault Peter Capaldi's performance?

Me:  I think he's got better and better as it's gone on.  I think he really enjoyed doing that.  Turning it on its head so that it was Clara who remembered...  Do you like the idea that Clara's got a TARDIS?

Him:  It's like the DARDIS.

(I missed the opportunity to call it a CLARDIS here, so we've got that to be thankful for.)

Me:  Both Clara and Ashildr...  That's the end of their story now, because it's been pointedly stated that neither of them will age.  So they can't come back.

Him:  They could come back...  But they'd have to do it soon.

Me:  Ha!  Right, the other question is, do you think Hell Bent was a success?

Him:  Do I think it was a success?

Me:  Yeah.

Him:  What do you mean?

Me:  Was it good?

Him:  It was okay.

Me:  It held your attention.  Was it as good as Heaven Sent?

Him:  No.

Me:  Right.

Him:  But it was better than Sleep No More.

Me:  It was, wasn't it? 

Him:  I don't think it was quite as good as Face the Raven.

Me:  Really?

Him:  Really.

Me:  The bit that made you grin and made me think, "Oh, go on.  Please, please, please, please."  When the Doctor stole the TARDIS and it was the original TARDIS interior.  "Please keep that one."  Your face just lit up in a massive grin.

Him:  He couldn't keep that one though, because the broken chameleon circuit makes the other one iconic.

Me:  Yeah.

Him:  Why did it turn into a diner?

Me:  'Cause the chameleon circuit works.

Him:  Is that what blends in?

Me:  Yeah, it's over the hill from Lake Silencio.  It's the same diner.

Him:  Is that what blends in?  In the desert?  Diners?

Me:  I dunno.  The diner's in the middle of nowhere and the barn's in the middle of nowhere, but people still seem to turn up at it.

Him:  The barn...  Initially, it's this tiny little space and he climbs up and then there's a woman.  "Oh, I wonder where she came from."  And then there's fifty people.  Where did they come from?

Me:  Interesting pronunciation of 'Shabogan' as well.  Okay.  And on that bombshell-

Him:  Do you not have anything else you want to say about it?  Do you not have any complaints?  You've always got complaints.

Me:  Murray Gold pushed his luck.

Him:  I saw a little grimace from you at one point.

Me:  It was when he started whistling. 

Him:  Oh, right.

Me:  That was the bit I tried mentioning earlier as Murraycone.  Which, you probably won't get.

Him:  No.

Me:  And on that bombshell, lady and gentleman.

Him:  You don't have any complaints at all?

Me:  It did what it did.  Good luck to Steven Moffat next year.  I do feel he's probably been 'persuaded to stay', because that felt like it was the end of what he wanted to say. 

Him:  What did the Shufflers do?

Me:  The Sliders?  They wrap you up in wire.

Him:  I felt sorry for that Dalek.  I genuinely did.  Why was it there?

Me:  Missy's Theme was in it, but Missy wasn't.  Although she didn't come back-

Him:  Are you sure it's not just 'Murray Gold Track Twenty-Three'?

Me:  Ha!  "What's this song called?"

Him:  "Track Nineteen."

Me:  Rather than 'Clara'!  And on that bombshell, lady and gentleman, thank you very much for reading over the last twelve weeks, and we'll see you...

Him:  On the flip-side.

Me:  Ooo.

Him:  Oooo.  Let's make more camp owl noises.

Me:  Ha! 

Him:  Oooo.

Me:  'Camp owl'?

Him:  Oooo.

Me:  Do an owl emitting a pellet.

Him:  No.

Me:  Bye!

Him:  Oooo.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hope star wars was good hun. DC went this evening and I haven't heard her thoughts yet but another person tells me it was great.
Saw this and thought of you