The reward for work well done is the opportunity to do more.
- Jonas Salk
And then…
Me: Oo – it’s a trailer…
The Doctor, looking
crumpled and windswept, appears to be on holiday.
The Doctor: I don’t think I like the look of this. Let’s go.
Victoria:
Why? What’s the matter?
The Doctor: Come on… Run.
Don’t argue! Run!
 |
| Doctor Who and the Confusion of the Sixties |
Voice of God: Next week, the TARDIS lands on a sunny beach. But where is it?
Me: Rhyl.
Voice of God: And why is the reception so unfriendly?
Me: It’s Rhyl.
Gunshots: ptchoo spwiing
Him: “And then… everyone dies.”
Victoria:
Why does he want to hurt us?
The Doctor: Why indeed?
Victoria: Can’t we go back to the TARDIS?
The Doctor: No we’ll never make it.
The Massive Chopper: whoosh whooshy whoosh
Jamie: What is it, Doctor?
Victoria:
I‘m frightened!
Cover of the
Unreleased David Whitaker Target Novelisation: Over here!
Victoria:
I can’t! I can’t!
The Doctor: You must!
It’s our only chance!
 |
| Cover of the Unreleased David Whitaker Target Novelisation: FLEEEEEEEEE!1 |
The Doctor: Come
on!
The camera zooms in on
each of our chum’s faces in turn, followed by a zoom out on a snap of the
Massive Chopper.2
Massive Chopper: whooshy whooshy whoosh
Voice of God: Why has this strange woman rescued them?
Me: I’ve no idea.
Voice of God: “Dr3 Who
and3 the Enemy of the World” begins…
Umm… Next Saturday!
Or thereabouts
The fading sounds of
the Massive Chopper bring us to a conclusion.
For now…
1. This is almost certainly not the actual line,
but it has been annotated from the soundtrack of a very old bootleg fortuitous archive recording.
2. “Yes, Jamie.
That is a big one.” Etc.
3. It’s always struck me as smug and
snarky to just add ‘(sic)’ in order to induce a cheap laugh. You’ll notice it hasn’t stopped me
though. I’m so ashamed.
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