Tuesday 11 August 2015

Holiday Special: Edinburgh Interview (Teaser)

The gods too are fond of a joke. 
- Aristotle

Me:  What was special about today then?

Him:  Nothing.

(Someone exits, pursued by a sea badger.)

Me:  Nothing?

Him:  Nothing.  Today's the eleventh of August.

Me:  Yesterday, then.

Him:  Yesterday...  Yesterday...  Got it!  Yesterday was your birthday!

Me:  It was.

Him:  You didn't mention that did you?

Me:  I keep it quiet, but yeah, yesterday was my birthday.  Three years ago we went to Edinburgh and we saw The Scottish Falsetto Sock Puppet Theatre for the first time - 

Him:  Yiss.

Me:  - we saw Toby Hadoke's My Stepson Stole My Sonic Screwdriver -

Him:  Yuss.

Me:  - and we saw Mr and Mrs Clark's The Medicine Show.

Him:  Yass.

Me:  Yoss. 

Him:  That's where we got the Slate of Life.

Me:  It is!  We've still got it too.  Then...  The year after that was the one where Rev and myself saw the Socks in Cardiff, but didn't know each other then.  Anyway, we went up to Edinburgh.

Him:  Very far away from the Arctic.

Me:  Very far away.  We can only go when the spring thaw's facing the right direction.  So we went to Edinburgh and we met the Socks' manager, Kev Sutherland.

Him:  Yes.

Me:  I'm old now, so I've forgotten why.

Him:  Well, I'm young.  So I never knew.

Me:  Ha!  We interviewed him for-

Him:  For your personal collection.

Me:  Ha!  For an upcoming Top Geak epipod.  I think Mr Sutherland's the first person I've interviewed face to face-

Him:  What about me?

Me:  You're a figment of my imagination.
Mind the step.

Him:  That's true.  You don't count after you've interviewed yourself.

Me:  No.  You should probably be struck off if you're interviewing yourself, 'cause that's...  Well, the bias is overwhelming.

Him:  I did it once.

Me:  Did you?

Him:  Yeah.  Sent messages to myself and replied to them.

Me:  Did you?

Him:  Yup. 

Me:  What did you say?

Him:  It's my interview.

Me:  Okay.  So, we talked to Mr Sutherland about comics and...  Well, he's an expert on comics, no two ways about it.  He knows his stuff.  It was quite busy in Edinburgh.  It was hot.  Quite a nice day.

Him:  It was very windy.

Me:  It was.  Especially when we went up on that massive ferris wheel.

Him:  That was grand.

Me:  I was wondering what sort of winds you'd have to be experiencing for a ferris wheel on top of a hill-

Him:  When it starts moving by itself... 

Me:  When it turns into a wheel you've got to leave.  But you can't.  Anyway, Mr Sutherland.  Lovely, lovely fellow.  Very good of him to give up his time.

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